these days i walk on lines

October 21, 2009

i am ALWAYS making decisions that could potentially put me in the worst situations ever. H is right- “elle why do you keep screwing yourself over and over?” i wish i knew!

it’s funny how i keep choosing the paths that are well out of my comfort zone, despite being the sort of person who espouses routine and familiarity. i could have chosen to return home for work next year, but decidedly i signed the contract for the job in melbourne- which is insane, considering i always knew i wanted to come home. despite all my attempts to be fiercely independent, i have always loved being at home with my family, it’s such a huge comfort to me just being physically near them after spending the last 5 years apart.

i do love melbourne, and for what it’s worth i love being in the hospitals here but admittedly, i dread being on my own, especially when i am about to embark on a huge, frightening new phase of my life. i know that God would never let me take on something i couldn’t handle, but i’m still mighty scared! take india for example, on hindsight it was probably very silly to travel there alone, suffice to say i was very afraid but if i hadn’t done so i would never have had the most amazing and memorable time (awww i miss you india!) so yes. i guess that’s part of growing up- you take risks and embrace them, even if it makes your stomach flip sometimes. i didn’t feel completely adult-ish when i turned 21, but i do now… 2010 here i come- please be INCREDIBLE, because i will accept nothing short of that.

and on to other lighthearted matters, i was lucky enough to get picked to sit for a viva for a surgical prize on monday and it was hilarious!! basically i walked into the room and it was half an hour of full-on Q&A with 2 surgeons about various anatomical and surgical questions. i was shown structures i had never seen before and diseases i never knew could be treated surgically. all the meddies who know me know that i am NOT a surgeon prototype and honestly i wanted to die from embarrassment. i got quite excited when they showed me a CT brain (i love brains!) but my face fell when they made me point out structures in the EAR. omigad. luckily dinesh concurred with me on our sad sorry performances and basically turned it into a huge joke on facebook ahaha. so i didn’t think i was going to win (obviously) but anyway i checked my email to see if there was any reply- none (as expected). BUT lo and behold…. i did get an email inviting me to sit for another viva- this time for the medical prize. how wonderfully blessed am i ??! one surprise after another, thank You thank You thank You GOD! i’m beyond flattered but the thought of sitting for another viva scares me, after the trauma of the previous one. two vivas in 2 weeks is a little crazy since the last time i studied hard for an exam was probably a year ago…egads! ok i shouldn’t be complaining because i’m really, really honoured to compete for 2 prizes and i know it’s a long it’s long shot, but dear God, can i win one of them pleeease??


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